adulting - 5 things I learned

This past year I went on a little adventure (if you've been following my blog you already know this.) to Colorado for almost 6 months. It was apart of my 'gap year' I highly recommend taking a gap year or just a summer in between school to really dig deep into your identity in Christ. Do things, be challenged, be without your parents provision for a little while (we will always need out parents no matter our age). This journey taught me a lot about me and where I stand on things. It didn't take long being a conservative christian with fellow believers who had very diverse convictions for things surface and questions on 'the why' with different subjects. The way I dress, why I didn't or did this and that, etc.... I began to see what I did in my fathers house because it was the way my father was convicted to raise his family. I began to learn to answer either "I" believe this because____ Or  it's not a big deal to me,but my parents really prefer I that I do that,so while I am living under their roof I want to show respect to them and be an example to my younger siblings. I began to see how things effected Christians being raised in different environments, what made their faith strong through this or that,what I don't agree with,but why they believe that way. I wanted to share 5 highlighted things in the 5 months as I challenged and began to adult in life.
       
           5 Things I learned living temporarily away from home.

1. Learning how to stand on your own beliefs and not "its what my family beliefs' and hiding behind your parents. Know the what and why you do what you do and believe the way you do. Stand firm on truth,but be opened as God uses others to pour into and challenge aspect of your lifestyle. Sometimes we do things because its how its been and don't do things cause of fear. That why when challenged in areas of conviction and truth, fall back to the bible, research draw a conclusion to what God has shown you in His word and not what you are being told what to believe on that subject, whether a close friend, popular idea in the church, make sure its a grounded truth from Gods word. I think of the verse in 1 Peter that says:
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear"

2.  Problem solving and working through it. I had health issues while I was away and I didn't have my mom to help. Although I wasn't feeling the greatest I had a job to do in ministry at a working ranch. I didn't have time to mope,complain and pause life because I was facing a few minor health challenges and just wait as my mom would tell me what to do to fix everything. Problem solving,working through the health issues and various problems that came up with my own discernment was a great growing aspect. To work through a problem with little aid felt so good to do as scary and challenging as that sounds. (Although a shout out to some awesome girls who prayed over me, helped find me some meds, etc..)

3. Relationships. Hello, I am Blythe and I am a recovering people pleaser and recovering controlling peace keeper. I was making friendships and growing in my relationships with various ages,both genders and its no longer in a family groups or at church. It was room mates, dorm mates,leadership. 'co-workers'. Diverse personalities, different convictions/biblical beliefs, even different cultures (my room mate was from England). So it was great to use discernment, to be confident and myself, learn how to not just be friends with everyone or 'try' to be best buddies with everyone.
 

4. Seeing your own flaws. I feel like I was challenged with seeing a lot of my flaws. I saw being a people pleaser made me a follower. I didn't stand strong on things that weren't a sin,but weren't right,pure,true,Christlike aka they weren't a 'big deal',but things I just kinda went along with and went the flow of it, because I didn't want to be dramatic or make people annoyed with me because I was being  "sensitive to it." holding them to an extreme standard!!! Gossip was another huge one I got easily pulled into different sides and different views, I would mainly listen to different groups who were mainly struggling to get along with so and so etc.. Instead of saying hey we shouldn't be talking about this, lets focus on their good qualities. Instead I would again try to be a people pleaser and keep quiet add a few comments cause inside I agreed with what that person was saying (no one is perfect, everyone has flaws and when living with them you will see them). But even if stuff is true doesn't mean it should be said. Whats that saying, "If you don't have anything nice (positive) to say don't say anything at all."

5. The blind walk. Being away from home challenged my faith in ways I cannot explain. Christ is my identity without Him I am nothing,I would be purposeless and so lost. I honestly cannot imagine the unrest and lack of peace those must feel not knowing out Father. Being away from home as I said at #1 challenged my convictions,but also the homesickness,following through with my commitment there, just all the big changes going on in my life, lack of knowing the future just challenged me to cry out and lean on my Abba Father all the more and for the first time in a while I felt so at peace at where I was placed after each 'struggle' knowing where I am placed is where He wants me in that moment and I don't have worry about the future that He already has planned for me. I was awakened to spiritual warfare while working at a ministry trying to minister in Jesus name next to a Buddhist group who prayed to their god against us. If we aren't having our faith challenged pushing us to our Father and strengthening our relationships then we aren't growing. Those struggles can just be little daily challenges that pushes you closer to Him,to walk by faith in obedience to Him. God blesses His children,He is faithful and loves them,but as we seek to live as His children in a world that hates the name of the true King and Lord we will faces challenges. He is peace, He lives inside of you and I, our faith gets us through it. Life is tough and that's all there is to it,but when we have Him we have nothing to fear.

                      _______________________________

    People talk how hard adulting is and being a kid was so care free. This is true, but they never say how freeing and confident building it is and how you have a terrifying adrenaline sensations surge through your body as you make decisions, use your own discernment and feel your body screaming inside that "WHOA, your doing something that the big kids get to do." As you look back a few months later and see how you've grown. 


Is adulting scary, hard work, more responsibility? Yes. But its exciting, challenging in a good feeling sorta way, thrilling, freeing, experiencing things you would never dream you could, opens possibilities. Adulting shouldn't be feared,but walked through with an attitude of confidence inknowing you serve a God who loves you and you can fall into His arms confident that when you walk in obedience to Him with Jesus as your Lord you won't fail at life you will just grow and learn.  A lot of these things would be things I knew,but I in a different way was challenged, I saw things in ways I wouldn't have at home with my family. I barely touched the surface of all the things that I learned,but most is hard to put to words how it impacted and made me grow.

I cannot not recommend enough what an amazing experience it is to plan your trip,make the decision handle all the details in your life and go somewhere from home where you aren't relying on your parents or having hem pay for things. I recommend traveling somewhere by plane or long road trip away without family (where there is some adult supervision/protection) to grow and push you into adulthood.
I deeply missed my family, considered coming home early,but through my reliance on God He showed me where to be and how to be all there. (You can read that story HERE )