to hope, to yearn, to dream

             

                     The Christmas season and New Years always fills me with awe and wonder.

Everyone is smiles, hopeful, and goal orientated. I have been reflecting more on hope and aspirations of late. I recently attended a basketball game and was observing a little 3-4 year old boy bouncing his basketball in between games. He kept throwing it into the air at the hoop daunting several feet above and there was no way he was EVER going to get it in, he just didn't have the muscle, skill, or height. But he kept enthusiastically trying. I knew one day as he grew, practiced and still aimed to accomplish this task he surely will do it. I thought about life, just in general and how often we run out of enthusiasm and stop trying, stop hoping, dreaming and aspiring. Time. Timing is everything. There is a reason for the verse (Eccl.3:1-8) 'For everything there is a season' God knew it *duh*.

 We may not always 'know' the season for a task in which it will be accomplished, but we can train, prepare and aspire. 

 This brings me to the subject of prayer. I have seen prayers, huge 'impossible' prayers, answered. Did they take days, weeks, or months?!

 No,as a matter fact one big prayer took a 2-3 years. It was answered in God's timing. 

Was it always done with perfect consistency with audacity on my part? 

Nope,but I kept chugging along and it would start to be come apart of my daily prayer, but because I knew the promises of the word it was done with hope and faith.

In His timing and in His way, I only need faith to move the mountian.

 God is faithful, good and just. He knows the desires of my heart and the plan for His children. 

God doesn't always answer and do life according to what I have in my mind, or when I would want. But He gives me peace and assurance while in the midst of it all.

{via}

This beginning year. Before you have a chance to get down out, write out small weekly or monthly goals to accomplish and then only a couple yearly goals to accomplish.

Prayer over them, seek after Christ.

Boldly pursue your goals as God leads and opens doors.

They could be the small ones like clean and organize apart of the house/room this month.

Or as big as job change, the typical get healthy lose weight/get in shape goal (always a good one), or even launch an idea as a business this year...etc...

God doesn't give our hearts desires without cause, but ALWAYS pray and seek God first.

Heart checks and pure intent/motive are always important.

God cares about the little things too.

I feel like people tend to lean toward God only caring about important big things, but that isn't true.

I get excited to know that He cares. He cares about my dreams, the silly and aspirational ones.

He cares about my fears. He care about my goals I set. 

He cares about them because He cares about me/you!

Life isn't perfect and we as humans are very obviously not perfect.

So lets flourish into what God intended and aspire to get stuff done!

twenty seventeen // flourish

Its officially the beginning of a new year. New adventures, sights to be seen, emotions to be felt, tears to fall, strength to be gained. 2016 was such a whirlwind and I can honestly say flew by faster then 2015 did. 2016 a year of fumbling,figuring and being awkward. I honestly felt like an awkward teen (oh, wait I never left that stage). If a movie would be made of 2016 it would be one of those cringe worthy movies, where you want to enter the movie just to help the awful moments severity lessen. But it made for a year of learning what not to do, say or be. 

Like last year and the year before I chose a word/anthem for that year. 

Now for 2017 my word is... 

(via)

       Flourish;

ˈfləriSH/ verb - Grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.

- thrive, bear fruit, blossom, burst forth.

This is my heart. I want to take root in Gods word and have it burst forth in my life. To spring out of me. 

Find an environment (church/friend circle) that is nurturing.

 I want to not just struggle to not fall, but to run. God has called us to bloom. He gives us what we need to do it.

Since moving I have struggled to find a routine with a new job, relationships/friendships, etc..

Just a lot thats new and in a different environment then usual. 

I feel like I joined a circus and the keep giving me new balls to juggle with when I wasn't looking, before I even mastered the basics of juggling. 

I was just trying not to drop them, but now that I have them I want to do what they were given to me to do. 

To be juggled with confidence.

I don't want any aspect of my life to simply be, I want it to bloom, to fight to be strong and beautiful.

Things in life are far from perfect and life in general is messy, but meeting God in that mess for Him to show me the beautiful ways to make my imperfections His blooming flower.

Areas that I instead living with a procrastinating and nostalgic attitude towards, I want to take them and challenge myself in it.

In my spiritual life, relationships, photography everything.

Its Christ's I surrendered it to Him.

Have I been giving my all, walking in obedience to His word, praying over areas in my life?!

This is the cry of my soul. I want to encourage and be encouraged. Inspire and be inspired.

I want young adults in/out of church to grow too.

I want to flourish, not simply struggle to be.

Do you have a word?

Or any special goals for 2017?

seaside

                                                   The ocean never ceases to amaze me.
                                             Its roar and crash of the waves. Its calming vibe.
                                              Its beauty and strength with each curl of a wave.
         Its the air erupts with its salty aroma and all senses are awakened. Hearing,smell, sight,feeling.
             The wind has texture,the wind sifting the sea salt it licks off the waves and kisses my face.
   My God created this. My Jesus loves me and shows me His strength and beauty within His creation. 
                   I could sit on the beach as the waves come up higher and be in awe of my Savior.
     As we had to leave our family vacation 2 days early due to hurricane Matthew I couldn't help,but think as the waves seemed to get angry and lift themselves up higher that Jesus calmed this with words. He spoke and the sea obeyed. 
                          He spoke and they listened. He spoke and with perfect obedience they submitted.
                                        How often do I quietly submit to what the Lord is asking? 
                                     How often do I forget He is all powerful and has all authority?
                

Falling out of church {21 and tired}

  

                                             

    Have you ever noticed the little under layer of church standards?

The church maturity charts, church guidelines (the kind never spoken directly,but always felt.)?

   The church presses upon their young aspiring adults and even young 20 somethings that they are not complete until________ ,but yet continuously tell them that they will be growing all their lives.

We hold people to a standard, we judge, and we develop opinions.Some biblical views, yes. Some are just because we've always done it/ that's the way its always been.

Take this story for example;

"A young woman is preparing a pot roast while her friend looks on.  She cuts off both ends of the roast, prepares it and puts it in the pan.  “Why do you cut off the ends?” her friend asks.  “I don’t know”, she replies.  “My mother always did it that way and I learned how to cook it from her”.

Her friend’s question made her curious about her pot roast preparation.  During her next visit home, she asked her mother, “How do you cook a pot roast?”  Her mother proceeded to explain and added, “You cut off both ends, prepare it and put it in the pot and then in the oven”.    “Why do you cut off the ends?” the daughter asked.  Baffled, the mother offered, “That’s how my mother did it and I learned it from her!”

Her daughter’s inquiry made the mother think more about the pot roast preparation.   When she next visited her mother in the nursing home, she asked, “Mom, how do you cook a pot roast?”   The mother slowly answered, thinking between sentences.  “Well, you prepare it with spices, cut off both ends and put it in the pot”.     The mother asked, “But why do you cut off the ends?”     The grandmother’s eyes sparkled as she remembered.   “Well, the roasts were always bigger than the pot that we had back then.  I had to cut off the ends to fit it into the pot that I owned”.

Growing up in the church I have seen this in the various denominations I've visited through the years. 

                            So much tradition they lose focus on why they are doing it.

Then you have the churches that are trying to be so different the stray away from things God intended to be in the church. They are trying to be the opposite of the non-legalistic church of their fathers and drawing in a crowd.

 The church has become a weekly occurrence in our lives. It has become a part of our life in the sense that its on the list with soccer practice. We know the drill,we know the line up, who's going to be there, who's 'not a team player', who's 'up there' in the Jesus stats. 

We put people up against a spiritual measuring stick, to compare like they are competition. 

We have the church stick of life that puts youth on standards of where they should be in life.

When they are completing different modules, marriage is a great example of that one.

Way to many churches put unmarried mid-upper 20's adults on the down low vs.  a married 25 yr. old because marriage completes you somehow?!

So the hunt pressure is on because its the next phase of completion in the eyes of those in church.

(disclaimer: marriage is not better or worse then single living, God has called everyone of different paths and each one opens different doors and grows us in different ways. Point being marital status doesn't define someones maturity just their experience. )

We have lost focus. Our prayer meetings are filled with information and requests, not intercession. We pray like we aren't LITERALLY at the feet of King of Kings crying out in His sons name.

We pray like the power of prayer is a tug on a rope and not a power that's pulling in the catch.

We lost the fear,respect,the awe of who He is.

  



 I am 21 and tired. 

Tired of the passivity.

Tired of the normalcy.

Tired of the mundane vibes of church.

Tired of the 'measure up' expectations.

Tired of the judgement and lack of accountability.

Tired of the lack of joy.

Tired of the lack of passion.
Tired of church and missing the dwelling place of God.

I want to see Pastors behind the pulpit, not because they are preforming their duties,but behind the pulpit excited to share His word, be preaching with their whole heart because its truth. 

Truth needing to be spoken not watered down. 

I want to see Pastors growing and learning not just the congregation. 

I want to see the church flourish. Like a wild fire that cannot be put out because the church is confident in the power of His name and are a walking in truth.

  I want to see broken people healing, I want to see people worshiping because God is holy worthy of all praise, I want to see no fear of judgement as we as a congregation lift up His name, I want to see people pouring out and being poured into because of Jesus not because its their church life! I want to see the older challenging,encouraging the younger. I want to see people yielding to the Holy Spirit, following scripture, I want to see the fruits of a life striving, purging out the bad because the more of Jesus going in causing to push out the unwanted garbage. 

I want to see Paul's walking in obedience,Daniel's walking in boldness, 

David's chasing after Gods heart even when they stumble, they will humbly confess and keep running the race.

Being transformed and not conforming to the world. 

Fighting the fight.

You cannot fight a fight if you aren't in the ring.

I am tired of seeing people being a church goers and not Christ Followers.

                                   I am falling out of church standards and expectations.
                                                  Because its not what church is about.

Exhanging 'self-confidence' for 'Christ-confidence'

 If you have been following my blog you know or I hope at least you got the vibe that I am passionate about living out a set apart life devoted to Christ! The struggle is doing life in the world, enjoying life while keeping Christ at the core. Satan attacks every which way making some of daily choices a struggle.
 So many Christians today I feel are to comfortable,living in a rut and happy with the comfort it gives.

When we become followers of Christ,believing in Him surrendering our lives to Him, we are putting faith and trust in Our Creator. We have peace in know He is in control,that He already predestined us,His plan for our lives as we learn to walk in blind obedience is the most fulfilling thing ever!

 In these truths is a hidden basic,but important aspect, a Christ Confidence.

   Why is this over looked? What exactly are you talking about? Why does it matter?

Its overlooked because we have an earthly mindset. The more and more you are in the word and are spending time with Him the more you develop a heavenly mindset. You don't look at challenges with bleakness,hopelessness and see it impossibilities. You begin to see possibilities. Ways for His light to shine. The only impossibilities are the ones the world says exist. 

When we spend more time in the world and less in the word we see more from the earthly mindset as we let our mind drift. Our human nature is to follow,to go on what we know, when the world is your main source of information from day to day telling you how to think you will lean towards that. 

The world is obsessed with self, who also happens to be your worse enemy.
 You know that one tool satan just loves to use?! You are your worse enemy. 

Self is the focus of the world also being in control or who,what,how,you are you.

Key to appearing so solid and controlled is confidence!
Being confident in what You can do,in who You are, of what You have,of what You are capable of, to not let Yourself appear weak or helpless. 

You see how damaging that is?! 

Not that confidence in itself is wrong. Its where it lies that causes problems.

In this case not only is the focus on you,but also no credit or no apparent need for a Savior its all in your strength,power and being in the right place at the right time while making the 'right' decisions.

We need to be changing out of this self focus,self confidence attitude for a Christ focused, Christ confidence attitude. 

A Christ Confidence is knowing your purpose in and through Him. I am a very purpose and task driven person. 

When I know what to aim and work for,know the tools to equip myself with I can get to it! 

Knowing what your focus is on is pretty helpful. Its on the cross, the prize at the end of the race,preparing away for His 2nd coming.
Your faith, and our trust in the one who created you. 

 Your confidence and productivity in life excels when this becomes your lifestyle and attitude!

 You become glow drawing in those who linger in the dark.
You are hitting the target because you know where to point and your trusting the own who is teaching you!

The Purpose. Having a purpose (as I stated above) gives us as humans so much more motivation in life as we strive to live it at its fullest. 

A Christ confidence is the arrow in that purpose.
Let us simply switch out where our confidence lies (or lack there of), your fear and worry is now minimized because you know are not alone and you know the one within you is greater than that of what is in the world.
And the word "know" is the greek word ginosko, type of "know".
Its not just head knowledge,but heart knowledge.
Have you ever read a passage several times and "know" it,but that time you begin to study it or experience something that you applied it to your life and now  all the sudden you Ginosko know it?!
Hopefully your getting the idea.

We are commanded several times throughout the Bible to not fear. 

We can walk confidently and boldly in the simple truth that He who has promised is Faithful to fulfill. 
God cannot lie.  

Life is such a beautiful gift that is made even more beautiful when we live out what we were created to do with a humbled confident joy! 

Nothing is more beautiful then seeing someone struggling through the challenges of life filled with joy and peace. That joy,peace and confidence in knowing that it will all be okay, its the overflow of what happens when you begin trusting and focusing on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

 Living in complete and utter surrender to Him.
I cannot put to words they way I want or how it ought to be put other then saying 'the truth will set you free.'  

Will it be easy? No. Will it be an amazing crazy wildest adventure? Yes!! 

We are called to something greater than even we can fathom! 

We are Saints, we are Chosen, we have been equipped and given a task, we are loved and trusted in, we're not alone. 

created

  He didn't create me , for to just to merely exist.

                He created me; 

               In His Image,

              For His delight,

              For Worship,

               To lift His name.

Ps.149:4

For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation. 

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows"  Luke 12:6-7

 "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing"  

                         Zephaniah 3:17 

He delights in me. I am wholly His.

  I am delighted in by the King of Kings.

Christ in me and me in Christ.

 I, Can do the impossible, Can shine His light, Can Be More. Can succeed. Can Be.

Through Christ  I can.

 I am worthy.

I am His.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth" 

Psalm 139:13-15

to be

                                            February. Its been 5 days of being 21 years old.

This month welcomed a new age, a  new drivers license, beautiful flowers and a butterfly chair (gifts from my parents) to grace the presence of my room. 

 I celebrated my 21st in the best way possible, started with church worshiping my Savior, then to sweat pants and a hoodie,eating burgers for lunch with the family, reese ice cream cake almond crust and finished it off with a good old chick flick!

                  This new month and new age has had my mind reeling to a point of overwhelming me (actually that happens alot) But in the midst of my minds thoughts buzzing around up there I had a moment. I was reminded once again how I am truly blessed as I sat on my birthday at my family who truly loved me.

  You know those moments in a normal day when you pause and then are in that pause, filled with joy?! You take a breath, knowing you are deeply & passionately loved by the man who conquered death,lived selflessly, and forever changed the world He created and the people in it?! 

                                  A love so amazing.

                    As I turned 21 this week and have been mulling over my never ending to do list, scheduling my ACT, trying to figure out when would be a good time to yank out those wisdom teeth, taxes,work, blogging (I know,I know its dwindling.), photography, save for a car, getting involved in church, while figuring out what the world I am doing with my life and where I am going.

 I quickly lose focus. I become overwhelmed. I am a one track type of gal. I got burned out! 

        I try to think of everything I need to do and it all needs to be NOW! I mentally get fried.

This week, um, scheduling is happening. Weeding out what I can't/shouldn't do and what I 'Should' be doing and then have a free time list. ;)  I realized this week that February marks the longest I have lived in one place since the of Fall 2014. I have lost all sense of structure since,so many changes to my life and routines. So Bam! We know the problem, step 2; solve it!

            (My newlywed sister and I, bonfire night, thrift store dress find, all of the gang.)

 This past week I watched this movie called 'Belle' about a biracial girl lived with her white relatives in England during the Zong ship case. The young man in the movie (yes,theres the romance) inspired me. His zeal,passion,authenticity and sensitivity to the value of life just ignited inside of me. He wasn't of high rank,but he impacted. After that movie my mind raced and buzzed. I Could Not sleep! I wrote this done on paper cause getting my thoughts on paper usually help 80% of the problem.

          I am a World Changer with a Voice.
Every action,word and act from my being is a shout into the void. You never know if anyone sees or hears the shout and if they will answer or change upon hearing the call. Live with zeal and passion. Walk in truth. Jesus was a World Changer. A Voice in word and deed and it is He who dwells in me. He who I have joyfully and willingly surrendered to be His vessel. Take my hands,my heart,my zeal, oh, Lord. 
I am a World Changer. I am a Voice

                      My word for 2016 that I chose was "Audacity" To be Bold,to be Zealous.

                        I am so excited for this new year and new age. I am so excited to see what God does. How He will change and challenge me. Every year I grow in Him,every year I become more in awe of who He is with a thankful,humble and blessed spirit. Adventures,challenges,opportunities. 

         2016 I am here. 21 and ready to be.

adulting - 5 things I learned

This past year I went on a little adventure (if you've been following my blog you already know this.) to Colorado for almost 6 months. It was apart of my 'gap year' I highly recommend taking a gap year or just a summer in between school to really dig deep into your identity in Christ. Do things, be challenged, be without your parents provision for a little while (we will always need out parents no matter our age). This journey taught me a lot about me and where I stand on things. It didn't take long being a conservative christian with fellow believers who had very diverse convictions for things surface and questions on 'the why' with different subjects. The way I dress, why I didn't or did this and that, etc.... I began to see what I did in my fathers house because it was the way my father was convicted to raise his family. I began to learn to answer either "I" believe this because____ Or  it's not a big deal to me,but my parents really prefer I that I do that,so while I am living under their roof I want to show respect to them and be an example to my younger siblings. I began to see how things effected Christians being raised in different environments, what made their faith strong through this or that,what I don't agree with,but why they believe that way. I wanted to share 5 highlighted things in the 5 months as I challenged and began to adult in life.
       
           5 Things I learned living temporarily away from home.

1. Learning how to stand on your own beliefs and not "its what my family beliefs' and hiding behind your parents. Know the what and why you do what you do and believe the way you do. Stand firm on truth,but be opened as God uses others to pour into and challenge aspect of your lifestyle. Sometimes we do things because its how its been and don't do things cause of fear. That why when challenged in areas of conviction and truth, fall back to the bible, research draw a conclusion to what God has shown you in His word and not what you are being told what to believe on that subject, whether a close friend, popular idea in the church, make sure its a grounded truth from Gods word. I think of the verse in 1 Peter that says:
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear"

2.  Problem solving and working through it. I had health issues while I was away and I didn't have my mom to help. Although I wasn't feeling the greatest I had a job to do in ministry at a working ranch. I didn't have time to mope,complain and pause life because I was facing a few minor health challenges and just wait as my mom would tell me what to do to fix everything. Problem solving,working through the health issues and various problems that came up with my own discernment was a great growing aspect. To work through a problem with little aid felt so good to do as scary and challenging as that sounds. (Although a shout out to some awesome girls who prayed over me, helped find me some meds, etc..)

3. Relationships. Hello, I am Blythe and I am a recovering people pleaser and recovering controlling peace keeper. I was making friendships and growing in my relationships with various ages,both genders and its no longer in a family groups or at church. It was room mates, dorm mates,leadership. 'co-workers'. Diverse personalities, different convictions/biblical beliefs, even different cultures (my room mate was from England). So it was great to use discernment, to be confident and myself, learn how to not just be friends with everyone or 'try' to be best buddies with everyone.
 

4. Seeing your own flaws. I feel like I was challenged with seeing a lot of my flaws. I saw being a people pleaser made me a follower. I didn't stand strong on things that weren't a sin,but weren't right,pure,true,Christlike aka they weren't a 'big deal',but things I just kinda went along with and went the flow of it, because I didn't want to be dramatic or make people annoyed with me because I was being  "sensitive to it." holding them to an extreme standard!!! Gossip was another huge one I got easily pulled into different sides and different views, I would mainly listen to different groups who were mainly struggling to get along with so and so etc.. Instead of saying hey we shouldn't be talking about this, lets focus on their good qualities. Instead I would again try to be a people pleaser and keep quiet add a few comments cause inside I agreed with what that person was saying (no one is perfect, everyone has flaws and when living with them you will see them). But even if stuff is true doesn't mean it should be said. Whats that saying, "If you don't have anything nice (positive) to say don't say anything at all."

5. The blind walk. Being away from home challenged my faith in ways I cannot explain. Christ is my identity without Him I am nothing,I would be purposeless and so lost. I honestly cannot imagine the unrest and lack of peace those must feel not knowing out Father. Being away from home as I said at #1 challenged my convictions,but also the homesickness,following through with my commitment there, just all the big changes going on in my life, lack of knowing the future just challenged me to cry out and lean on my Abba Father all the more and for the first time in a while I felt so at peace at where I was placed after each 'struggle' knowing where I am placed is where He wants me in that moment and I don't have worry about the future that He already has planned for me. I was awakened to spiritual warfare while working at a ministry trying to minister in Jesus name next to a Buddhist group who prayed to their god against us. If we aren't having our faith challenged pushing us to our Father and strengthening our relationships then we aren't growing. Those struggles can just be little daily challenges that pushes you closer to Him,to walk by faith in obedience to Him. God blesses His children,He is faithful and loves them,but as we seek to live as His children in a world that hates the name of the true King and Lord we will faces challenges. He is peace, He lives inside of you and I, our faith gets us through it. Life is tough and that's all there is to it,but when we have Him we have nothing to fear.

                      _______________________________

    People talk how hard adulting is and being a kid was so care free. This is true, but they never say how freeing and confident building it is and how you have a terrifying adrenaline sensations surge through your body as you make decisions, use your own discernment and feel your body screaming inside that "WHOA, your doing something that the big kids get to do." As you look back a few months later and see how you've grown. 


Is adulting scary, hard work, more responsibility? Yes. But its exciting, challenging in a good feeling sorta way, thrilling, freeing, experiencing things you would never dream you could, opens possibilities. Adulting shouldn't be feared,but walked through with an attitude of confidence inknowing you serve a God who loves you and you can fall into His arms confident that when you walk in obedience to Him with Jesus as your Lord you won't fail at life you will just grow and learn.  A lot of these things would be things I knew,but I in a different way was challenged, I saw things in ways I wouldn't have at home with my family. I barely touched the surface of all the things that I learned,but most is hard to put to words how it impacted and made me grow.

I cannot not recommend enough what an amazing experience it is to plan your trip,make the decision handle all the details in your life and go somewhere from home where you aren't relying on your parents or having hem pay for things. I recommend traveling somewhere by plane or long road trip away without family (where there is some adult supervision/protection) to grow and push you into adulthood.
I deeply missed my family, considered coming home early,but through my reliance on God He showed me where to be and how to be all there. (You can read that story HERE ) 

                                 

the petticoat tomboy

                    

     

I was a tomboy growing up. I had 5 brothers. I strived to be tough like them,eat like they did (that is when I made myself like Doritos and enjoy mountain dew when ever it was available), I tried to be into the same things as much as a girl could or as much as I was allowed, much to my mother and 2 older sisters dismay. 

My older sisters were the proper ladies while I was the only curly haired, wild girl in the bunch.

          We girls rarely wore pants,though I owned my sacred $5 walmart overalls and wore them ragged.

My poor mother didn't know quite what to do with me.

My 2 older sisters were into homemaking,sewing,cooking.

Me?! No way,that didn't exactly scream fun to me,but more so as tedious.

Couldn't understand the appeal.

In a big family whatever you make is going to be gone just as soon as its out of the oven.

Then you had to do your dishes.

Somehow my mom managed to teach me to sew and cook.

When it came grace and elegance though I was the ugly duckling that fell on its face.

I remember my sister and I in between the ages of 5-8 my mom signed us up for ballet.

Oh,boy! Those leotards!!! 0_o I complained so much that after a few classes we stopped.

I am totally kicking myself now,cause I am absolutely fascinated by dance of every form and enjoy messing around learning basics steps of different ones (ballroom,swing,irish dance ...agh...*melts*).

All left to say I have beautiful classy sisters growing up while there was me, who if I had to sew and cook I would make a non pink john deere apron to make it interesting. (true story,don't laugh)

I am telling you all of this to kind of catch a vision of where I am coming from.

 Way back to the time of long dresses and petticoats, a tomboy wasn't in existence.

You were to be a lady of grace and elegance.

A woman of dignity and propriety.

Imagine if you mixed the two.

the petticoat tomboy - A woman who is classy and graceful,but enjoys the little things, will dig in the dirt, and will change the tire on the car if there is no gentleman to do it.

There has to be a healthy balance of being a tomboy and a feminine young lady,a balance that I never caught as I entered into womanhood.

You don't need to wear pink and have bows,but there is something so beautiful about a woman dressing in beautiful modest attire and has that certain thing about her.

To be a woman who draws attention to her countenance not her body.

Who puts that little extra time into her appearance. 

Looking into Gods word I found some great scriptures to catch a vision of what God intended a woman of God when it comes to her appearance.

 1Cor.3:18 "But we all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord ,are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."

1Tim. 2:9-10 " in like manner also,that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel,with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or costly pearls or costly clothing,but which is proper for women professing godliness,with good works.

As a young woman of God and the bride of Christ how are you presenting yourself?

God created us to be true, pure, modest.

 He knows our hearts.

 We are to compliment that beauty given, not masking it by trying to add to it or change it entirely.

Don't try to draw attention to yourself, not with gaudy jewelery, nor fancy schmancy expensive clothes to impress others.

 Modesty,humility, and true beauty.

When we are as a woman of God adorning our outward appearance that doesn't me you are limited.
But that you have a lot to work towards.

Proverbs 31, describes a woman, whom many would call the ideal woman.

But some of my favorite things about this chapter are the verses below when it describes this woman.

Prov.31:17 "She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms."

I think this verse talks about two different types of strength the one that stands out is strength in terms of physical strength. 

She took care of her body.

Our body is the temple of God in which we should take care of it with healthy eating habits and keeping in shape. I'm not saying become a fitness freak,but eat healthy meals, take walks don't let the body God has given you completely fall apart.

I know things happen as you get older and you can't control everything,but do your best to take care of yourself.

Prov.31:22 "She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple."

Not rags, not dirty t-shirts and sweatpants though those have a time and place ,but in public usually isn't the place, not pj's.

 (why do people shop in their pj's?)

This woman puts an effort to make her self presentable not appearing lazy or a slob.

Prov.31:25 " Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come."

You cannot address outward appearance without touching on the inner workings. 

1Peter 3:4 "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.

   

Part of my biggest struggle of turning from tomboy appearances and dressing in more of a feminine manner, is how it made me appear. 

I was trying to remain giving the appearance in a tough beautiful country girl vibe,

 I hated the idea of appearing as a homemaking woman who seems weak, lacking in boldness and courage.

But when I picture the proverbs 31 woman I don't picture just a beautiful woman of God who is sweet,gracious, kind, wearing a flowy white dress,but also a woman who is strong and able.

You cannot keep her down, she will be rise up once again in strength.

She is smart and has discernment.

She knows when to speak boldly and when to hold her tongue.

She is a petticoat tomboy.

Adorning herself with dignity,respect,grace strength and boldness.

She is a woman of God.

She is the woman I strive to be and she is the woman I encourage all to aspire to be.

Here are some great links for beauty and fashion that's not overly girly,but enhance your God given beauty.

MAKEUP // HAIR // FASHION

the lonely soul

   

  "God has perfect timing; never early, never late.

 It takes a little patience and faith, but its worth the wait."

So many girls desire to be in love,to have a man totally smitten with them,while I am not saying this is wrong, but to be blunt you are completely missing your greatest and only ever perfect lover of your soul. Someone who is always faithful never letting you down.  Someone is desiring for you to bare your soul and pour out your heart to Him. A lot of people turn also to nonhuman form,social media. Facebook doesn't need to know your complaints and your attention. Instagram doesn't need an updated selfie of your good hair day. Twitter doesn't need to hear great thought and perfect hashtags. While none of which are inherently wrong the intentions behind could cause problems. Whether your hoping to gain some online attention in the midst of your 'lonely' soul posting your daily dose of you or  all of your life is simply online and its where you only know to invest your life in. Sure you have friends you hang out with, family that's around,but that doesn't mean you lean and hang all over them ever waking moment. Satan can be very strategic in his attacks,but the attack upon a girls longing soul is probably one of his easiest targets to hit.The good news is there is a counter attack and you are actually never alone both of these are the same answer. :) Jesus. He is our protector and never leaves our side. His desire is for you to lean on Him. He is longing for you to embrace Him and all He has to offer you. The funny thing is you have Jesus and He should be your everything, but your heart still aches for a special someone. Go back to Jesus, pour out your heart to Him,He will hear your cry and He will answer. A lot of the time we think we know the answer and what we want,but God knows better and has a plan.

                               "Until you are called to marriage you are called to singleness."

As young women and young men (I suppose we will throw the guys in the mix...:) ) we have a desire to marry,raise a family some more then others and I am in no way putting that down because more then likely God put that desire in your heart. I want to take a section to touch on trusting our Creator.  I often hand God the pen to my life,but finding myself hovering trying to see what He writing when I see the pen start to move cringe and reach for it. Sometimes grabbing it and saying 'let me try' like a 3 year old would.  Having faith and trusting God takes courage. It should be as easy as pie. I mean first of all He is the great I am, a loving and merciful Father who longs for an intimate relationship with you. Secondly He has had a plan,a purpose for your life for you since before you were born.

                                                                 { Trusting }

                "Nothing great happens when you hold back."      

      




We because we are human have trouble letting someone else have control. But fact is if God doesn't have our heart, one of willingness and trust (or full fledged faith) the devil is going to take over even if we tell ourselves we are in control, we are never in control. Now obviously don't take this literally God shouldn't have to open your mouth in order to feed you.
        Through prayer, tuning our hearts to His, and seeking Him in everything He leads we follow.
                 We are His shadow, a faithful shadow striving to have a servants heart like Him.
Do not take lessons from peter pans shadow. Unlike Peter Pan, God gives us a choice we can choose to be with Him, to strive to imitate Him  and He will take us to unbelievable places on an amazing beautiful journey. He doesn't force us to choose Him.

                    Ps.119:105 " Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."

                               When my future seems fuzzy and I feel so out of focus my biggest comfort is that God has a plan and purpose for my life. I just have to have a willing heart to move when He moves and go where He calls. I do that and I am set. Will it be easy? No. But I am not depending on a mere man, I am not relying on anything or one to sustain me,no matter how many time my mind falls into that trap. I am relying on the most high God. The Alpha and Omega. My creator, provider,bridegroom, lover of my soul. I am not alone. I am not hopeless, I in fact have found hope and who I can trust to hold my heart until He shows me who else to share it with.

                                 

                                                              photos via pinterest.com

laughing without fear of the future

I had always planned on college,college was never not part of my great plan for life! When I was little a Doctor was the profession of choice. I remember a Christmas where I got a kids Dr. kit (the shot and stethoscope were my favorites.) and in my stocking was a little teddy bear in scrubs and by my guess he was a surgeon.My mom says I was so excited to start grade school when I was little. I begged to be able to join my siblings at the kitchen table with homework this resulted in me starting a year ahead of when I was supposed to. My sister right above me (Jessica) on the other hand didn't like school (we are opposite on 90% of things) and had absolutely no desire to do it. She was the homemaker,sewing selling clothes online by age 14,raised/bred and sold her goats. All of which she still does,but she has added to her load going to school for vet tech. As an example of how opposite we are we shall start with her gift of sewing in which my eldest sister did to,so at age 9 I did a little sewing class my eldest sister did on making a skirt. I did not enjoy that class at all. Sewing was tedious and I just couldn't get it right.  

        I always say 'stress' was in the word 'seamstress' for a reason!

My parents wanted me to find someway to make money from home vs. going out and getting a job in a secular workplace. I was somewhat of a creative just not in the sewing field. I would rather be running around barefoot outside with my brothers. Thank goodness I discovered photography (to read about that click here) I graduated Highschool slightly early though not at 16 as I had hoped. I changed career options multiple times in my senior year, a month before my graduation I decided on Pedatric Oncology Nurse. Thats what my grad invites said.;) 1 month after graduation I didn't even know if I would go to college. I threw the idea of a BA in communications around for a few yrs in highschool and after. Mainly just so I had a degree that had many career options that I could combine photography,to get family members off my back.

But here I am 20 years old and not going to college,not dating, no real plan. Something you need to know about me is I am a visionary and a planner. I usually have a plan of some sort for my life and I am always envisioning paths to take. I see myself a stay at home mother in a quaint little happy home, I see myself successfully running a buisness with a little office all my own, I envision me all by myself living overseas doing missions work being an intercessor like Katie Davis or some other amazing women like Amy charmicheal,Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor.... The point is I am a dreamer/visionary usually cooking up some scheme that I plan and write out all in a notebook,but never doing for some reason or other.

So why am I not going to college? Why am I not planning for the future? What if you never get married and have to support youself or you get married and your husband dies?
Those questions swirl in my head like no other. I love the part in Proverbs 31 where it says,"She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

Why does she laugh without fear? Because she knows she is being looked out for by someone knows the future and knows where she will be and what she will go through in the future. This person is God,who is faithful, loving, merciful and just. Don't read that thinking you don't have to do anything God will provide everything,I mean God will provide the means to the provisions.

God hasn't led me to college yet. So I haven't gone. He lead me to Ellerslie and opened that door,so I went through the door. He has given me oppurtunities to gain experience on my photography. But no matter how much I try to make a go of starting my photography plan. While He sends me to Ellerslie for a time or move me to a new state its hard to fight the truth that a photography business isn't happening at this moment. God doesn't have it in this chapter. When God says no its hard to swallow,but knowing He has a plan greater is a peaceful feeling. Its as if Gods saying, wait on me for my plan for you because it will be greater then what your trying to accomplish on your own. Not saying God will give me away to do photography on a more professional level in the future,but that He has a plan greater then what I can envision for myself. Whether that is doing photography full time,part time or as a hobby. Its through Gods gift of photography that doors have been opened for me in other ways in which I am truly blessed. I am currently spending my summer in Colorado doing pretty much full time ministry through my skills in video and photography for an amazing Christ centered family ranch. I sometimes feel like we want our plan to be Gods plan so much that we try to trick ourselves into thinking that that's true. He always surprises,reminds,changes our plans and expectations when we surrender our all daily,allowing Him to create a great work in you/me.

                                    This just seems to be getting better and better right?!
No college degree and the door for a photography business isn't open,I'm working away from home for little money in ministry.
                               Don't you want to start supporting yourself and have a secure job?  
My answer, No. Not if that's not where God is leading and planted me. I want my life no matter how absurd,crazy and no matter how it appears to lack common sense,I want it to be walking and stepping where Jesus points. I want to walk through the doors He opens, I want my life to bring Him praise and to be His for His purposes. Delighting in what He delights. Cry and pray for what breaks His heart. When called to follow Jesus we weren't offered safe,normal, comfort. Actually we were offered the opposite. We were told we would be perscuted,doesn't clarify how or its extremities,but we are outcasts. We were told we would be tested. We are striving to be in total obedience to God the Father just as Jesus was.... You remember what happened to Jesus right?! The son of GOD!!! The most High. He was accused,mocked,spit upon,whipped,crucified annnnnnnd mocked during His death. Jesus has to be the most unappealing life to the human nature ever,but yet our souls yearn for that. I believe a good verse for that is Matthew 26:41 "Watch and pray,lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing,but flesh is weak."   When we are Jesus' side we are against Satan and He will attack physically,spiritually,emotionally.

How does the proverbs 31 woman laugh at the future without fear. There isn't to my knowledge one easy quick step. Its honestly a matter of the heart,between you and the Lord. Here are some ways to help you out/point you in the right direction.

-Constantly surrendering to the Lord your wants,desires,plans,doubts and fears. Just when I think I have surrendered everything He brings up something that I didn't think of or wasn't even in my mind or something that I was leaving out because I didn't want to surrender it. This is probably the hardest thing. Also remembering to fear and doubt is a sin,since we are commanded to trust Him helps me to keep that in check.

-Putting complete faith and trust that He is in control and has a plan. Its even harder to not worry or stress if you aren't putting complete trust in Him.

-In all your ways acknowledge Him. (Prov.3:6) And He SHALL direct your paths.

Note: These are just ways I've noticed for myself that brought me to a place that I can laugh without fear of the future. I don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all down pat, when you lose sight of things your gonna fall and I have to remind myself/repeat the things below. Your relationship with Jesus is like a plant that you tend to and help grow. you don't buy a plant and expect it to grow if you ignore it.


       "I am not afraid of tomorrow, because I know God is already there."