who is defining success?

                 I like to keep things real and authentic when it comes to who I am. 

Failures, joys and sorrows alike. So to be real 'success' is something I have really been struggling with. I used to dream of becoming a Dr. growing up with God taking me on a different path that feels a little more humbling. From feeling like I am starting all over, like a kid still in high school by work at Chick Fil A (which isn't bad, somebody has to work there right?) with pressures to go to college and 'do something with my life' and whats funny is that pressure isn't from just certain family members,but society. I mentioned before how I felt I wasn't being lead to college in the past seasons of my life I was following the directions God was taking me at those times. Society puts pressure on the fact that to be somebody you have acquire 'Success'!

                        Who is defining success? 

             Who puts the stamp of approval of success on your life?

College and education is a huge privilege that we have here in the US and one that should be respected,but not one to define if you are failure in life or not. The amount and way we make our money is put on such a pedestal for success that we lose focus on life.

We have our awards and accomplishments in life,but what is all that in the end?!

        If some one is making money and has established themselves we call them successful.

Some who raise families that are intact great kids and marriage with long lives filled with memories we call that success,but not in the same way. Its more of a good job vs. I want to be like you and own the same stuff.

Success is defined by Noah Webster;

Terminating in accomplishing what is wished or intended; having the desired effect; happy; prosperous;

What are you intending/wishing? What effect do want to have where and how?

Prosperous in what?

5 Ways the world says you have success.

1. A "Career", that gives a pay check to enjoy the greater comforts of life.

2. Owning a house and a nice car.

3.  Being connected.  

Knowing all the right people = popularity & ups others opinion of you.

4. When you have to plan out your day to day prioritizing everything. 

Being busy sometimes seems so ideal,but it can be a major distraction.

5. Having the appearance of perfection.

 (lifestyle, looks,etc... the ideal life)

5 Ways I want to have success.

1.  Having no regrets.
I feel like in the end my biggest regret won't be my career path it would be not walking in obedience to where God places me. 

2. Laying up treasures in Heaven.
I don't want to invest what can be destroyed and holds no eternal value.

3. Being a servant.
When I meet someone who knows all the big time people, either in the business world, pop world, blogging world etc... Yeah, I would be impressed and lean towards wanting to hang out with them try to get and in,but when someone displays a servants heart and knows all the people at the homeless shelter. Less impressive on the world scale,but on the heavenly scale, I am impacted and inspired.
I want to be like that, I want to have that molded into my character. See #2.

4.  Investing.
I am not talking about money,but people, character, shaping yourself.
When we invest money we try to be wise, which will make a profit,bear fruit.
I want to be successful in bearing fruit in my life. 
In taking the time to listen to my siblings. Investing in myself through Christ. 
I admire people who don't go off of emotion and selfish needs/wants on what looks fulfilling to them. 
When you truly invest in others, without realizing it your investing in youself. 
In Gods Kingdom  (see #2)


5. Being real & True
 Ah,perfect people with the perfect life are idolized and people reach for what they have,but they don't know how. Why don't they know how? Because its not perfect and perfect people aren't easily approachable.
I never want to be so 'perfect' that people have a view of me of a struggleless, sinless, easy life.
I want to be true and real. That I am approachable for people to say hey, I am struggling with this can you pray for me give me advice..etc.. and vice versa I want my friends to be able to say hey, I see your struggling with this let me pray for you.
No one is better then another. I want to be real, true,approachable.

 

"Courage is knowing where your fear limits you and having what it takes to go beyond it."

to be

                                            February. Its been 5 days of being 21 years old.

This month welcomed a new age, a  new drivers license, beautiful flowers and a butterfly chair (gifts from my parents) to grace the presence of my room. 

 I celebrated my 21st in the best way possible, started with church worshiping my Savior, then to sweat pants and a hoodie,eating burgers for lunch with the family, reese ice cream cake almond crust and finished it off with a good old chick flick!

                  This new month and new age has had my mind reeling to a point of overwhelming me (actually that happens alot) But in the midst of my minds thoughts buzzing around up there I had a moment. I was reminded once again how I am truly blessed as I sat on my birthday at my family who truly loved me.

  You know those moments in a normal day when you pause and then are in that pause, filled with joy?! You take a breath, knowing you are deeply & passionately loved by the man who conquered death,lived selflessly, and forever changed the world He created and the people in it?! 

                                  A love so amazing.

                    As I turned 21 this week and have been mulling over my never ending to do list, scheduling my ACT, trying to figure out when would be a good time to yank out those wisdom teeth, taxes,work, blogging (I know,I know its dwindling.), photography, save for a car, getting involved in church, while figuring out what the world I am doing with my life and where I am going.

 I quickly lose focus. I become overwhelmed. I am a one track type of gal. I got burned out! 

        I try to think of everything I need to do and it all needs to be NOW! I mentally get fried.

This week, um, scheduling is happening. Weeding out what I can't/shouldn't do and what I 'Should' be doing and then have a free time list. ;)  I realized this week that February marks the longest I have lived in one place since the of Fall 2014. I have lost all sense of structure since,so many changes to my life and routines. So Bam! We know the problem, step 2; solve it!

            (My newlywed sister and I, bonfire night, thrift store dress find, all of the gang.)

 This past week I watched this movie called 'Belle' about a biracial girl lived with her white relatives in England during the Zong ship case. The young man in the movie (yes,theres the romance) inspired me. His zeal,passion,authenticity and sensitivity to the value of life just ignited inside of me. He wasn't of high rank,but he impacted. After that movie my mind raced and buzzed. I Could Not sleep! I wrote this done on paper cause getting my thoughts on paper usually help 80% of the problem.

          I am a World Changer with a Voice.
Every action,word and act from my being is a shout into the void. You never know if anyone sees or hears the shout and if they will answer or change upon hearing the call. Live with zeal and passion. Walk in truth. Jesus was a World Changer. A Voice in word and deed and it is He who dwells in me. He who I have joyfully and willingly surrendered to be His vessel. Take my hands,my heart,my zeal, oh, Lord. 
I am a World Changer. I am a Voice

                      My word for 2016 that I chose was "Audacity" To be Bold,to be Zealous.

                        I am so excited for this new year and new age. I am so excited to see what God does. How He will change and challenge me. Every year I grow in Him,every year I become more in awe of who He is with a thankful,humble and blessed spirit. Adventures,challenges,opportunities. 

         2016 I am here. 21 and ready to be.

what I wear//February

Shirt: Peebles
Under tank: Wet seal
Skirt: thrift store maybe..... (not sure)
Boots: Wet seal
Leggings: Maurice's I think.
promise ring: Gift









 Completing this post with a vogue style shot FAIL! :P
 As a reminder that no one is perfect. Practice makes progress and so I can look back in a few years to see how far I've come. At least the lollipop looks somewhat tasty!

nineteen

                                                    Ah, scary,but true. I am an old nineteen year old. As of this morning.

Which started with waking up in my warm bed and some very delicious gluten free waffle in which there is no photo cause I gobbled them down very quickly! They were yummy! :D
                                   Also I just realized this will be my last year as a teenager. O_o

       I made a list of 19 things that I have been thankful for and couldn't of made 19 year without. :)

1. God. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I wouldn't be who I am without Him in my life! Hahaha,actually I wouldn't even be alive without Him. He is mysterious, loving, hard to obey at times I must admit, but the results are always better then if I did it my own way. He died for me a messy clumsy forever messing things up sinner and He is using my mistake for His glory!

                                       2.So another typical one, but my parents, they have loved me through the thick and thin. Especially my mom I think we take our homeschooling moms for granted way to much they do so much and know our moods our likes and dislikes and are around us 24/7. My Dad definitely has had his patience tried while teaching my mathematics! In which I still struggle to grasp. :P Hey, he tried.
 I get my humor and curly hair from my dads side and I am truly thankful for that.
                                                                   Love you two!

 

 

3.Laughter and smiles. I seriously couldn't of made it through life without smiling or laughing its part of who I am. I love making others smile and laugh and I love capturing it. Have you ever seen the movie "I Am David"?? That movie makes me cry. I mean guys this kid never knew how or what a mile or a laugh was growing up where he did and he learns to SMILE !!!! What is cool then that!

4. My siblings. Okay, I have 8 siblings. I'm not close with all of them my oldest sister got married when I was 10,but I appreciate all of them. Between my youngest sisters sweet gestures and Aaron my best friend, listening ear and outfit approver....don't laugh we ask each other if our outfits look okay. Which I guess is funny cause neither of us have good fashion sense.


5. My bestie penpal Desiree. I've been penals with Desiree since I think 5 years ago we met through mutual pen-pals (its actually a long story) But we instantly started emailing each other back in forth talked about when we turned 18 we would visit each other (still hasn't happened. :( ) talked about future plans..etc... and we both had a loved going through cancer around the same time,had brothers getting married weeks apart. We are what I call inseparable and this is why I need my internet!!!!! Skype,email, are the best internet inventions ever.


                                 6.Icecream. ahhh,I think there is enough said in that one word.

 

7. cameras. Where to start I'm so thankful for cameras to freeze a moment that you can look back on. To see what your grandparents looked like at your age. Similarities. The way things used to be.

8.music. Couldn't live with out it. Music doesn't even have to be an instrument, it could be the cricket singing praise to our creator as the fireflies dance under the stars.

 

9.bible. Another obvious one, but only cause its a must is it an obvious. :) Letters from God that we Americas take for granted! Precious poems, songs of praise, encouragement, salvation, love stories, daring men of faith,truth.

 

10.vision. Something I daily take for granted. If I could see colors or see to take pictures I think I would go insane. I love sitting or walking in my backyard marveling at Gods creation. My youngest brother is very excited to be getting his glasses after waiting two weeks. His one eye has more and more been looking inward. So very happy for the lil guy.

 

11.snowflakes. To remind me we aren't all alike. God made us each unique and with a plan. We all are special.

 

12.horses. Just because they are so majestic, beautiful, strong, and fun! :)

 

13.children. Though they frustrate me at times, their simple questions filled with such innocence.

My 8 yr. old brother asked recently after hearing on the radio talking about abortion laws. What is abortion? My mom carefully explained that when women with the baby still inside them decide they don't want to have the baby a dr. kills it and takes it out.

He replied with an unexplainable look and innocence. That's sad.

 

14.dancing. Once a month I go contra dancing (Think pride and prejudice) and its definitely a stress reliever and just a time to have fun and laugh a lot! :)

 

15.freedom. Though curfews aren't my favorite I'm so thankful for the freedom our country has.

 

16.blogs. I find blogs away to glimpse into other girls lifestyles, minds and creativity to get inspired.

 

17.diys. When I'm feeling especially crafty, but creatively drained. They are awesome! And I love them!

18.planes. I don't know about you, but planes are cool. You get to look down at the 'tiny' houses and soar through the clouds, not to mention you get to point a. to point b. quickly!

 

19.countryside. I've grown up in the country and wouldn't give it up for anything. Yeah, everything is a far drive, but to have so much of Gods creation in my backyard is such a blessing and so peaceful...when the neighbors aren't setting their yard on fire or shooting their big ole guns! :)

 

              Nineteen things I'm thankful for!

 

         What are you thankful for?