No bouquet toss?

            {Why I didn't do a bouquet toss at my wedding}

 I decided to not do a bouquet toss at my wedding for a reason thats dear to my heart. It boils down to intentional living. 

Walking by faith and complete surrender.

I kept mulling over this tradition ,we were very decided on not doing the garter toss (for obvious reasons),but I was asked by family if I would be doing the bouquet toss. I thought of different ways I could incorporate different things into the bouquet toss to give a deeper meaning , then just 'you'll be the next one married'.  Ta Da!

 I finally just decided that, nope, I wasn't gonna do it!

The basic meaning behind tossing away your bouquet to a group of clustered single ladies eager to catch the flowers would be that, if they could catch it fate would have in store a man for them to marry and they shall be next to be wed.

 Now not everyone believes that tradition/myth to be true, its more of a fun and kind of joke that wins you flowers.

 But.... I don't like the mentality of it. I strive to grow to be more intentional with my thoughts and actions. I had that season every girl with the desire for marriage goes through. 

That season of being broken and afraid that there isn't a man for you out there! 

Because the world tells you be your own woman, be pretty enough, successful....

and have that perfect Mr. at your side.

 I learned there is so much beauty in being single. 

Not just single, but a person who surrenders the desire of marriage to God and lives everyday to its fullest and in obedience to where God places them.

It is, in my mind, that having a bouquet toss puts marriage on this pedestal of something to be achieved, something better than where God had placed You Now.

I desire so deeply for young ladies everywhere to strive for contentment,intentionality, and praying for a spouse, if that is the desire of your heart, but surrender consistently the timing to Him. 

Too many girls stop living to just be waiting and finding ways to get a man. 

These girls miss out on what God has for them now!

 They miss out on letting God write their love story. 

God is something my husband and I are constantly striving to keep us and our marriage centered, but how much more beautiful and guided that is when He is the one that orchestrates you both together.

In summary I chose not to do at the bouquet toss because life is about so much more then just getting married. 

Life is so much fuller and better when we are walking and enthralled with Jesus

that our lives every exciting, scary adventurous part of it is orchestrated by Him.

 We make decisions, but He brings those opportunities to us!

He is the lover of our souls, writer of the perfect love story, orchestrator of all.

to be

                                            February. Its been 5 days of being 21 years old.

This month welcomed a new age, a  new drivers license, beautiful flowers and a butterfly chair (gifts from my parents) to grace the presence of my room. 

 I celebrated my 21st in the best way possible, started with church worshiping my Savior, then to sweat pants and a hoodie,eating burgers for lunch with the family, reese ice cream cake almond crust and finished it off with a good old chick flick!

                  This new month and new age has had my mind reeling to a point of overwhelming me (actually that happens alot) But in the midst of my minds thoughts buzzing around up there I had a moment. I was reminded once again how I am truly blessed as I sat on my birthday at my family who truly loved me.

  You know those moments in a normal day when you pause and then are in that pause, filled with joy?! You take a breath, knowing you are deeply & passionately loved by the man who conquered death,lived selflessly, and forever changed the world He created and the people in it?! 

                                  A love so amazing.

                    As I turned 21 this week and have been mulling over my never ending to do list, scheduling my ACT, trying to figure out when would be a good time to yank out those wisdom teeth, taxes,work, blogging (I know,I know its dwindling.), photography, save for a car, getting involved in church, while figuring out what the world I am doing with my life and where I am going.

 I quickly lose focus. I become overwhelmed. I am a one track type of gal. I got burned out! 

        I try to think of everything I need to do and it all needs to be NOW! I mentally get fried.

This week, um, scheduling is happening. Weeding out what I can't/shouldn't do and what I 'Should' be doing and then have a free time list. ;)  I realized this week that February marks the longest I have lived in one place since the of Fall 2014. I have lost all sense of structure since,so many changes to my life and routines. So Bam! We know the problem, step 2; solve it!

            (My newlywed sister and I, bonfire night, thrift store dress find, all of the gang.)

 This past week I watched this movie called 'Belle' about a biracial girl lived with her white relatives in England during the Zong ship case. The young man in the movie (yes,theres the romance) inspired me. His zeal,passion,authenticity and sensitivity to the value of life just ignited inside of me. He wasn't of high rank,but he impacted. After that movie my mind raced and buzzed. I Could Not sleep! I wrote this done on paper cause getting my thoughts on paper usually help 80% of the problem.

          I am a World Changer with a Voice.
Every action,word and act from my being is a shout into the void. You never know if anyone sees or hears the shout and if they will answer or change upon hearing the call. Live with zeal and passion. Walk in truth. Jesus was a World Changer. A Voice in word and deed and it is He who dwells in me. He who I have joyfully and willingly surrendered to be His vessel. Take my hands,my heart,my zeal, oh, Lord. 
I am a World Changer. I am a Voice

                      My word for 2016 that I chose was "Audacity" To be Bold,to be Zealous.

                        I am so excited for this new year and new age. I am so excited to see what God does. How He will change and challenge me. Every year I grow in Him,every year I become more in awe of who He is with a thankful,humble and blessed spirit. Adventures,challenges,opportunities. 

         2016 I am here. 21 and ready to be.

'dwell in this land'

                    One week into being home and I think I've official caught up on sleep and every part of family updates.My little over 4 months in the mountains of Colorado has been a whirlwind. The fact that I ended up at a Christian ( 10 points) Dude Ranch (horses = 10 points) doing videography and photography ( 10 points) as a ministry (20 points) just blows my mind. God is so faithful and good.

    My excited nerves ran like never ending electrical surges through my veins as I was driving through the mountains, sleet came down and music filled my ears the adrenaline starting pumping this is my home for the next few months. I plunged head first into my task after the first week of familiarizing myself with programs, the ranch, getting tips from the ranches former videographer. After the first 2 weeks of Wounded Warrior Project family weeks we headed into our more normal guest weeks by the end of week 4 or 5 I was homesick. But what came up more frequently as get sick from food allergies. I couldn't figure it out, my body was being ultra sensitive. I have Celiac ,but my body doesn't usually react so badly to cross contamination.

Mid summer it was getting so bad my parents were encouraging that maybe I return home early.

                 The enemy was dealing a low blow and then whispering just quit in my ear. 

  I was telling myself I wasn't a quitter,but are you going to keep sacrificing your physical health?!

              A few girls on staff prayed for me throughout the weeks anytime it flared up,but it kept on happening.

I knew God wanted me at the ranch it was a weird feeling and even weird to type here,but I was supposed to stay the whole time I knew that. Though my emotions and physical health seemed to be taking all sorts of wacky turns tempting me to return home. I prayed, opened His word and the first verse my eyes fell upon was Psalms 37:3 ;

             "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness."

I have never had a verse so specific and direct to my life situation at that moment, literally every word jumped out at me. Trust,Dwell and Feed off of His faithfulness. 

 The enemy was trying to cut me down,but my strength comes from the Lord and through Him I knew I could stand my ground. It probably wasn't until the last month and a 1/2 maybe last 2 months my reactions slowly got fewer and fewer. 

When we walk in faith and obedience He is faithful to lead us through. 

If I ever HAD to (cause I wouldn't otherwise) have something tattooed on me it would be 

"He is Faithful" that truth has been felt so much throughout every aspect of my life.

It just fills my soul to know that, that truth rings forever true never to lose its truth and impact.

                           This summer though it came with several obstacles ,allergies, a certain computer crashing and losing the 'must have' video footage that wasn't backed up yet, yeah,that was a stressful few weeks. Amidst all of that I grew. I grew in my 'techy' skills and videography skills, I grew spiritually, my eyes were awakened to spiritual warfare in a different battles at the ranch,but the biggest thing was the whole summer was, I got to focus on my job and my time at the ranch.
I lived in the present. Which the past year or two that has been a huge struggle.
I didn't try to plan or stress (at least to much) about the future. I built relationships with so many people I am blessed to call my friends. I was poured into and I was able to reach out and pour into others. At the ranch I saw flaws in myself and when you live with so many others you see their flaws, you learned to work through them no place and no person is perfect and the ranch is no exception. I loved watching and envisioning more on how people, the ranch could and did grow in its passion of serving and shining for Christ. My prayer for the guests each we was that us as staff could let them through us experience the love of Christ and I believe they did.
Whether it was week 1 and a wounded soldier had so much going on,severe PTSD and the fact that he would literally run away from the bible to by the end of the week he let one of the staff give him one to take home and read. Just seeing his transformation was worth it, but God continued to use the staff to reach a few young girls various weeks going through hardship and using us to have them feel accepted and secure then kept going with a young atheist coming to Christ by the end of a week and all the teens that week just huddling in a circle praying. I am reminded of His faithfulness along with His amazing power and love that can shine through us when we allow Him to use us as His willing vessels.
That's the point all of y'all to do everything with such a zeal and passion that we are blessed to be able to put forth in serving and shining for our amazing Savior.

 "What this country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds." -Will Rogers

                             Don't be afraid to fail,
                       Be afraid not to try.

hello from the mountians

                                             

                I am heading into my 12th week at the ranch. God has been good. Through homesickness, computer crashing issues (okay, the hard drive fried and everything said goodbye to me). I am reminded how essential it is to rely on the Lord for strength.

Problem solving, being flexible has been a great little challenge.  Growing in videography skills as I use it for ministry has been such a blessing. I think one of the greatest thing I've learned these past few weeks has been learning the servants heart and mind set for day in and day out even if your exhausted, building relationships and listening ear. You are always last. Putting all of that into practice has been amazing, hard, but amazing! I am always a little nervous to put an extra effort into a relationship when I am not sure if I will see that person again! I love having community and relationships with people I can always hang out with, so that's been a stretch. But God has been teaching me through having a servants heart to have a servants heart that loves unconditionally and to invest emotionally into people!

    Though I cannot wait to go home and serve my family for however long God has me there before any other adventures He throws my way!


So I encourage you all to love unconditionally, but not vulnerably and don't think less of yourself, but think of yourself less. People are the best way to invest, whether that's your time, money, energy, emotion. Go love people! :)


                                                               1 Corinthians 16:14
                                                      "Let all you do be done in love."

bonfire worship

Everyone likes to have the fire ignite within them of passion during a worship service and try to take that fire with them, but it fades away by the end of the day.

Do you ever wonder why?

  Worship in todays modern 'Christian church' is all about evoking feeling.

They want a bonfire worship service all about the feels. 

The emotion in the moment. (please note the italicized part)
They are about having a worship song that gets you worked up to be on fire for Jesus.
But after you leave church though that feeling fades.
Why? Because it was focused on the feeling not on Him.

 Not saying there is anything wrong with having a worship service that makes you feel emotional.
I love a good worship service, but its the motive.

 Is it to make you feel good and for you to feel like your on fire for God or is it to truly offer up praise to God?!

Love is a choice, not only just an emotion.
Not only is this true when it comes to you and your significant other, but also when it comes to God.
Only difference is obviously He is God and is always, true, right, never in the wrong and your spouse is a human who has a sin nature anywho, you get it.
(just wanted to clarify that)

 Lovingly worshiping God is not about sparks and fireworks and having good music.
Its being there at church with other believers to humbly coming to the throne of our God and Savior to worship because you love Him and more importantly He is God, deserving of all worship and praise.

The way I would define the word worship is- an outpouring of ones adoration, respect, and love for one viewed greater.
That's just my personal interpretation/what the word worship means to me. If I would define worship as a what it means to me it would be: to though unworthy come to Gods throne and humbly offer up praise to the one true God worthy of it all.

Here are 3 basic things churches do to try to have a bonfire worship service.

warning: I don't think all of these are wrong, but a. moderation and  b. what's the motive/ use caution.

1. Modernizing the music and having a heavy beat

2. repeating (seriously y'all repeating Jesus over and over again isn't a worship song)

3. Swaying, dancing, 'feeling' the music (mainly the charismatic churches.)

I personally don't want to the sparks and fireworks, I long only for Jesus, I desire to lift His name on high, I worship out of true adoration and love for who God is.

A Christians sole desire should be to offer up praise to the one who is worthy of all praise.

Here are 3 things I do for worship.

1. A heart washed clean and prepared to worship
You are entering the throne room of God to glorify His name. Only a high priest before Christ came could enter Christs presence after he was cleansed. 
Prepare your heart for worship.

2. One singular focus

 Alot of the time I shut my eyes. I get so very easily distracted by little kids or just people in front of me. I focus on the words of the song and their significance.

3. True intentions.
A lot times I noticed there are things people do,like lifting you hands during worship,most of the times I believe its out of a true heart of worship and other times its because they want to appear 'holy' or want attention. Its not my place to judge and its between them and the Lord.

Lifting of the hands is something I have done,but usually its right in front of me at mid rift.
Why!? Cause I don't want it to be done out of seeking attention or a distraction to others.


In summary.
You are in church because of Him. You are worshiping Him.
Worship Him.
Its not about you or how you feel its about glorifying God and loving God with all your heart,mind and strength.
Because He is worthy of all praise.

that day again?

                           

             Ah, Valentines day is upon us once again.

            As a single young lady this 'holiday' has always been a 'blogging' struggle. Why?!

I hate seeing my feed filled with the single Christian young ladies blog posts that usually do the whole, Jesus is my boyfriend vibe!

                                           

        Uh,huh! I find that slightly ridiculous to say!

  Because its something single girls say to try to fill an emptiness they feel around this holiday or a away to comfort single girls around this holiday. Now not all of them post that sort of thing, but a lot of them or the I follow do.

You are the bride of Christ not something as cheesy and cliché as His 'girlfriend' and that He happens to be this 'boyfriend' of yours in times like these. To the ladies who are in a relationship you may gush about your boyfriend on this special day, but I know for a fact that you do it on other days of the year too!

                         Are you gushing about your Savior and His love for you year round?

 This day celebrates a man named Valentine who saw the significance of marriage and risked his life to bring it all about by preforming the ceremony in a time of war when marriage was forbidden.
       In reality businesses used that as their reason to seize an opportunity to sell, cards , flowers, and chocolate making it all hearts and cupids!
                 Now I am not against Valentines day at all! I actually love this holiday.
I think love, marriage, relationships are something so beautiful, sacred that needs to have at the core of it the love of Jesus Christ for He is love and marriage was His idea!




        I want to share my 3 thoughts on love!



1.A selfless love of my Savior. Love is to be selfless and Jesus demonstrated this on the cross and in every way He continues to pour into my life.
His love is unfathomable. Pure, without hypocrisy and sincere.
(John15:9, 13, Eph.5:2, 1Tim 1:5)



2. Love is vulnerable. When your in love and are opening up to someone it makes you vulnerable. Vulnerability should follow trust. A special someone in your life gains your trust and then they soon win your heart and your love. Marriage is giving 100%, not 50-50.
You put the selfless love of Christ at the core of that relationship and it will blossom as you walk through your life with Jesus Christ at the center.
You build your foundation of a relationship on a solid rock, a cornerstone.
Romance is something so beautiful and nothing makes me get butterflies in my stomach then a husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church and his wife respecting and honoring her husband in all she does. It speaks volumes. Candlelight dinners, blood red roses and chocolates.
A soft kiss on the forehead and the "I love you's" may come in a relationship, but when its built on Jesus Christ that is definitely something worth shooting for, for He is faithful.
(John.13:1, Eph. 5:25, Deut.7:9)



3. The greatest of these is love. One of Gods greatest commandments (1Cor.13:13) is to love.
Whether that would be a special someone, family or friends and even strangers we are commanded by our Lord and Savior to love with the same selfless love that Jesus showed. From washing the feet of His disciples to His death on the cross for our sins He loved well.
I want people to see the selfless love of Christ in  my life.
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. John15:13

I don't view this holiday as 100%  about romance, but taking a day to express to the one or ones closest to your heart your love for them.

This holiday is day that we can take to remind that person how dear we are to them even if they already know it.

                         As Christians we are commanded to love well, 1 Corinthians 13 a popular chapter on love makes the point that everything we do in Christ name if done without love then it amounts to nothing, the love of Jesus given unto us and Jesus within us (when you are born again)  enables us to love others.

 

         I challenge you to do acts of kindness out of love through Christ for someone else, a stranger.

                                     Buy them a coffee, leave them a note at the gas pump or a gas giftcard and also through out your week look for opportunities to love well, to go out of your way to express your love and appreciation for someone else.